|Mum and Dads wedding 1948|
So I grew up with this vision that I had been bought in some kind of baby supermarket !!
I had a happy childhood until my darling Daddy died ( I was 7 yrs old) and then the light went out of my life, my Mother obviously distraught and very sad never really got over her loss, and it affected my relationship with her, she showed me little love and affection , but I just accepted my lot and got on with my life. I also had an older brother (also adopted) who I did not have much in common with but my Mother adored him,
I look back and I cannot say I was an unhappy child just a little confused at times, I shall not dwell on the dark days or think about how I was treated, because I am who I am today because of her.
|This picture reminds me of my ballet lessons|
Mum died in 2000 age 85 she was quite an old Mum ( all my friends thought she was my Granny)
I looked after her the best I could, she had Alzheimer's and was quite confused most of the time but was adamant she was going to stay in her own home. It was not the best option, but with help from me and two lovely carers we managed make her comfortable ( my brother was far to busy)
A few days after Mum had passed away Jose (one of Mum's carers) called in to see me, we sat on my sofa with a cup of tea and I told her that I was not sure if I had ever loved my Mum, I cared for her and always looked after her but was not sure I had ever loved her, Jose looked me in the eyes and said "you could not have done any more for her, but "love" has to be earned and I don't think she had earned it" and she hugged me
Yes I have thought about finding my birth Mother and I do know a little about her. She was young, only 17 when she had me ( she worked in a shoe shop) is that why I love shoes he he!, but as the years pass by I feel less and less inclined to look..
|Our cottage in Cornwall|
I did get a shock a few years ago when I was living in Cornwall..I had a phone call from a lady looking for J W I was so taken back as no one had ever called me by that name, J W was my birth name ..I had a short conversation with her, but she did not tell me who she was or what she wanted, I asked her if she knew my Father's name, she said she did not know his name but that he was a Norwegian sailor, and that he had fallen in love with my Mother and wanted her to return to Norway with him..well I nearly fainted I could not take it all in..
So now I have more questions than answers.who was this lady, am I half Norwegian , did my Father ever know I existed..
Well I am very happy now I have a wonderful husband.. beautiful children and grandchildren who I shall never stop loving...
|from my precious children x|
I hope you don't mind me putting my thoughts and memories into word , but it seems right today